People say that you don’t have to be the way you are. You don’t have to fight yourself and subdue your free will all the time. Just to be better than what you are today, just to be perfect. What to do? May be someone can just tell them that I engage in these futile battles with myself because I feel I have not been who I was meant to be. It could be because things don’t go as planned or maybe I lacked in my attempts. So I fight, my battle against destiny.
I keep on running, faster my pace gets, but they keep on saying “you can’t stop destiny”. Which makes me think what if this truly is a scheme and all of it conspires. Because if it is, no matter where I go I’ll run into it.
But then once I read in a book that “life is full of miracles” and “You need to fight in pursuit of your dreams, aspirations, wishes. And once you overcome your defeats, in the silence of your hearts you know that. It’s just that you need to believe.”
And then again, I keep pushing myself and my boundaries all over again to change the course. Change from what was destined to what I feel is right. Maybe when I start feeling right in my shoes, I can be happier than I am. I can be better than I am right now. And if that happens, if my journey ends right, then that day I can proudly say to myself that the battles I fought were not futile and all that I lost and gave away was not in vain.